The Wizard, the Farmer, and the Very Petty Princess by Daniel Fox

Author:Daniel Fox [Fox, Daniel]
Language: en-us
Format: mobi, epub
Published: 2011-11-05T04:00:00+00:00

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Idwal and Willuna fled through the woods. Happily, dwarves are slow runners, what with those stumpy legs and all.

That's how Idwal learned that a certain princess could really haul ass if the occasion warranted.

Chapter 12

Sweat worked like ants under her dress, against her skin, tickling its way just everywhere. Willuna didn't care for sweating, it was both uncomfortable and unladylike. She had in the past perspired at the most during vigorous dances. But now she was drenched, hair plastered to her temples in whirls, clothes sticking to her body. An alarming thought - what if she smelled?

The farmer was standing hands on knees, gulping air like he wanted it all for himself. They'd run like, well, like seven very insulted dwarves were out for their hides. Willuna had had a good mind to turn around and inform them just who it was their were howling at, but then remembered Anisim wanted her to stay in disguise. So she'd reined in her temper and picked up her feet. Eventually they had lost the dwarves and come to a gasping halt here by a farm's split-rail fence.

The farmer shuffled over and plunked down with his back to the fence. "I'm horrible," he said.

"I admit it could have gone better," said Willuna. "But I don't think they knew anything."

"I tried," he said, "I tried to bring myself to shoot."

Willuna looked over. The farmer sat slumped, his head bowed, not meeting her eyes. He was finally showing a person of her station the proper respect by not looking directly at her and yet, somehow, she felt bad. He just looked so sad.

"I don't mean I wanted to kill them, just frighten them a little, zing one through one of their hats. I could have done it too. But… but I just ran. I couldn't turn myself around."

"Well, what of it?" said Willuna. "I was running too. They were scary little men."

The farmer shook his head. "What did I think? That I would get this," he hefted the bow and its quiver of arrows, "and what, I would be brave? Strong? Be like King Anisim? You were right," he said, dropping the bow to the ground, "I am useless."

The farmer was absolutely the most annoying person Willuna had ever met. He was ignorant, a rube, far too familiar with his superiors. And now, on top of all that, he was making her feel sorry for him. And even worse, sorry for having made him feel bad.

Well, she wasn't having it. She was fine with looking down on him, trading words with him, she had even somewhat forgiven him for the slide down the garbage hill (even if Anisim had been the one who actually pushed her down, it was still entirely the farmer's fault for having suggested it in the first place). But feel sorry for this commoner? Absolutely not.

"Get up," she commanded. "I know this place." She looked around. "I think. We need to go."

"Go where? Pardon me your Highness, but why- "

"Because," she said, "it's time for another lesson.

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